Chapter 17

Translated by boilpoil Edited by boilpoil

The institute did change a lot now. So perhaps the procedure right now is that if you have the ability, you can do a project alone as well? And Jian Yiguang did have the ability. This is something that nobody would question throughout the empire.

This is still odd, however. If you say Jian Yiguang is uninterested in the topic of psychic power invisibility, then he shouldn’t be acting so strictly in line with the procedures. He comes to see Bai Lianhua every day even. But if you say he’s engaged, then it doesn’t seem like he’s working hard towards any breakthrough.

Bai Lianhua is certain if Jian Yiguang was serious, then his speed of research would be way higher… Isn’t he slacking off?

Bai Lianhua is furious, and so he asks indirectly, “Jian Yiguang, what about other projects on your hands? Don’t you need to check them out?” Aren’t you the star researcher in the institute? You can’t possibly only be in charge of this one project? Are you that free?

Jian Yiguang terminates this session of recording data as appropriate, finishing washing his hands, and then produces a fruit that Bai Lianhua used to like best in this world, peels it and hands it to him.

——That was when Bai Lianhua took him away and they lived anonymously somewhere intentionally far away from the capital planet. They didn’t have money problems insofar as food and clothes is concerned, but it’s hard for them to get access to something as rare as bairong fruit even if they had the money. The soil there wasn’t fit for its cultivation and its transport is also an issue.

And worse, Bai Lianhua, unlike his gentle appearance would suggest, is quite the glutton… He can still remember Bai Lianhua’s satisfied little expression every time they manage to buy one. He would even eat them really slowly, bit by bit, filling up his jowls. It looked really cute.

He liked that look very much.

“No. I’m only in charge of your project.”

“In fact, it’s been a long time since I last personally directed a project. The research I’ve already done is enough to ensure my livelihood for generations to come.”

Bai Lianhua takes the fruit with a defeatist attitude and bites into it like he’s venting it out on it… Oh, then what a pleasure it is, danks .

The room goes quiet again. Bai Lianhua can’t ignore how Jian Yiguang keeps staring at him in silence. So he squeezes his brains trying to start a conversation.

“You asked me if I were surprised to see you… Then were you not surprised when you saw me?”

Bai Lianhua starts regretting it as soon as he said it. He feels like he’s probing the edges of the cliff of doing himself in with great sheer bravado.

He is curious though. Since the start, Jian Yiguang’s state of mind has been too stable. There has been no change…

And so Bai Lianhua felt conflicted too. He wanted to lie to himself that Jian Yiguang is normal like that and there’s nothing wrong with him. On the other hand, even without the unhelpful advice of the unhelpful system, he can also feel that this peace is odd and it probably can’t be maintained forever. These thoughts have bugged him consistently and so he can only observe and maintain the status quo without knowing what to do.

Now great, he won’t have to stay conflicted anymore… Without prior notice, he’s already picked up a little hammer and smashed a corner of this peace to pieces. Now he can only wait and see what reactions pour out from under this peaceful façade.

“I’m surprised, how could I not be?” Jian Yiguang’s hands which are peeling bairong fruit for Bai Lianhua stops, “I’m surprised to find you alive.”

Bai Lianhua blinks and blinks, alive? No no no, he’s been missing in this world at best, but he’s never died.

I thought it was a reunion, you thought it was a resurrection?

How did the supernatural suddenly get involved, oi!

“Eh? I thought I told you back then… I’d be leaving.” I’ve even said it a few times!

Yep, he did actually imply to Jian Yiguang the oddities he had. So, this is also why he believes in his own self-deception. He thought he’d already told enough to Jian Yiguang so he would expect Jian Yiguang not to mentally break from that.

Since one does need an opportunity to become tainted.

Jian Yiguang stays quiet.

In fact, Bai Lianhua did tell him stuff like that. He’s said “I’m going to leave soon. It’s good that I’m still able to do something for you before leaving. Don’t worry about me, it’s going to be fine” and similar things.

He tried to reject it and stop it. He even tried looking at Bai Lianhua without sleeping, afraid that he’ll really be leaving like he said if his eyes were shut for a moment.

It was no use.

When Jian Yiguang walked into the kitchen that day, wanting to make a beautiful fruit platter with bairong fruit and other fruits that he worked hard to buy, to make him happy——He’s always been clumsy like that. His personality is broody and he has no appeal. He can’t flirt either. He’s so uninteresting that it even scares himself. He is the one and only SSS-grade psychic in this world, but it’s useless to Bai Lianhua, since he doesn’t need to experiment on him… Even the method he desperately thought up to appeal to him is so mundane and uninteresting.

Even if it were the only thing he could think of that he could do…

——Yet, when he looked back, the person who was looking at him on the couch has already disappeared.

He wanted to calm down and convince himself that maybe Bai Lianhua just had to pick up something outside all of a sudden, but the oddity relayed to him in his psychic power in his mind makes his skin go pale. He has no more excuses for him.

That weak point that’s always been there feels as comforting as being surrounded by warm water. The feeling of being repaired, being reinforced is really obvious. The more comfortable he feels in his mind, though, the colder his heart grows.

He can’t lie to himself anymore. Bai Lianhua gave his psychic power to him, and left.

——He’s always known Bai Lianhua had psychic strength above SS-grade, but he pretended he didn’t know.

Bai Lianhua and he, they, from the institute, both know, that the best way to repair the hidden damages to his psychic power is to find someone that’s not that different from him in psychic strength to repair his psychic power for him.

The difference must be small enough which already limits the candidates to above SS-grade… And Jian Yiguang in the institute is already definitely an unexpected circumstance. It’s impossible for there to be another existence that is over SS-grade in psychic strength, so they’ve always let their guard down.

Unfortunately for them, Bai Lianhua is that accident that wasn’t supposed to occur.

What has always made Jian Yiguang restless is that Bai Lianhua is always worried over his hidden damages. Bai Lianhua always said that a day where his hidden damages were not repaired is a day where Jian Yiguang had a lethal weakness under the institute’s control, a day where he can’t be seen in the public. If there’s any trace of them and the institute notices them, they’ll both be in mortal danger. They’ll have to spend the rest of their lives in the shadow of death.

True, but he didn’t care.

He already wants to stay far from people. He doesn’t feel it’s necessary to integrate into such a noisy world. So what if their identities must stay concealed? He feels fine as long as Bai Lianhua is there with him.

Peeling away someone’s psychic power to repair someone else’s is unheard of. No matter what, though, there must have been a hefty price to pay.

Everyone knows that for psychics, psychic power is an inseparable part of their body. Just minor damages to psychic power are enough to cause agonising pain, not to mention peeling away it all… Unless they want to die.

As expected, Bai Lianhua is as if vanished from this world. Even the biometric magnetic chip that’s attached to him for life is no longer emitting a signal, not responding no matter how much Jian Yiguang searched for it. This only meant one possibility, that the owner of the biometric magnetic chip has no vital signs anymore.

——When he finally came to terms with such, Jian Yiguang, whose sanity returned, looked at the bairong fruit platter that’s long since rotten away on the table, puts his fingers over them, then squeezes them into mush expressionlessly.

So Bai Lianhua is correct in thinking that Jian Yiguang assumed he was resurrecting… Jian Yiguang was only finally able to confirm that he really meant he would be fine when Bai Lianhua returned.

“I really thought you died.” Jian Yiguang repeats what he said, but he isn’t looking at Bai Lianhua, and is looking at the bairong fruit on his hands instead.

Jian Yiguang spoke with such calmness and expressionlessness that is so compelling that coldness would start to overtake someone from the inside out. It is even making Bai Lianhua suspect if he should really go kill himself once or twice.

“I really hated you back then.”

Bai Lianhua is stupefied, “…eh?”

I’ve always been looking out for you, and you hated me? What kind of response is that? Even if you thought I’d died, then in your understanding, didn’t I sacrifice my life for you? Why would you hate me?

Why is it so hard to understand the internal thoughts of the antagonists?

Jian Yiguang smiles, “don’t believe me? Do you need me to run you through my thoughts and tell you how I thought?”

Bai Lianhua goes ‘huh?’ Not really…

“Indifference, loathe, agony… I didn’t need any guidance and naturally learned about these through my life in the institute. I’m swallowed up in them too.”

“But, warmth, endearment, care… These things I’ve lost after my parents passed away, were imprinted back onto me by you bit by bit.”

“It’s also you, that would take care of me day in, day out. You hid me just before my consciousness was extracted, then used everything in the books to take me out of the institute. You’ve given up your bright future for it.”

He can still remember the day when he was hurriedly dragged by Bai Lianhua away from the institute.

Even if Bai Lianhua wasn’t much older than him, and is also thin and weak like himself, and shouldn’t have been a powerful figure at all, but the silhouette of him was calming, and his hand was warm.

“Why did you make me feel those again?”

“You chipped away at the hard shell I rely on to survive, opening my heart that is without reservations for you, that is soft and fragile. And then you went and died for me. You made me fall from Heaven to Hell in a single moment.”

“You didn’t care if I was willing. You didn’t let me choose, then you went ahead and died. You stuffed your psychic power into me as you wished.”

“… I don’t want it.”

“I’d rather there be permanent hidden damage to my psychic power, or even dying the next second as my psychic power dried up than seeing you sacrifice yourself for me.”

“I don’t understand how you can act so selflessly. Why can’t you be a bit more selfish? Why must you go to such lengths for me?”

“Tell me, what reason do I have not to hate you?”

Bai Lianhua’s has no words. He is unable to think of anything to respond to that.

“But, you really are alive,” looking at him, Jian Yiguang continues, “you didn’t lie.”

He sniggers, “given that, how laughable it is my emotions were stirred up like that? As if it were just my deluded fantasies. As if I was just performing a one-man act. As if I were a clown.”

“But, even if I were only a clown… I’m still happy.”

Woah, is that the common archetype of antagonists these days?

Can one no longer become an antagonist without being vaguely Shakespearean with words nowadays?

Bai Lianhua says with a really convoluted expression, “then, now, are you able to…” let go?

Feeling so conflicted, even if he had such great achievements, is Jian Yiguang happy? He never did think that his departure would have stirred him up like that.

He thought Jian Yiguang might have had to adapt, or feel sad, but time heals all wounds, they say, and it will turn out for the better… Perhaps he’s wrong.

“Now… Now my life is fulfilling.”

Jian Yiguang giggles, “besides those stuff on the surface, guess what I’m working on?”

Bai Lianhua shakes his head with a blank look on his face.

On the surface? So there’s something under the surface?

Jian Yiguang recollects his exposed emotions and becomes collected again.

He picks up the bairong fruit he peeled halfway earlier and finishes peeling it, then gives it to Bai Lianhua.

“This study on you is too uninteresting. Do you want to work on something new with me?”

Bai Lianhua is dumbfounded.

Author’s notes:

Irresponsible woke theatre:

#Antagonist career skills development lesson 1, how to express one’s grandiose, sensitive inner feelings with simple, easily understood sentences without laughing out loud#

Bai Lianhua: All the antagonists these days are mass-produced from a single training facility, no?_(:з」∠)_…

Mob D: Yep, a professional antagonist training facility, apply today→_→

Bai Lianhua: Argh! 1 star! Terrible user experience! I want to report [Sad face]

System: … [Guilt on face]

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