Extra 2

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Husbands’ 100-Question Aptitude Test: Part II

[continued from extra 1]

26. If you were to compare each other to an animal, which one would it be?

WGN: Motherfckr! [i.e., the homophone “grass mud horse”]

ZLY: ……

WGN: *cough* It’s alpaca! Alpaca! [i.e., an innocent reference to “grass mud horse”]

Ah Zhi: Why? [Ah Zhi is a diminutive of the author’s name, Lin Zhiluo]

WGN: Cos he’s a dummy! [in Beijing dialect]

ZLY: ……

Ah Zhi: Zhang Lingyi, what do you feel Wang Guangning is like?

ZLY: SpongeBob SquarePants.

Ah Zhi: SpongeBob SquarePants is not an animal, OK? O_O

ZLY: Don’t care, he just is!

27. What does the other party do that displeases you?

ZLY: Too well-mannered with girls!

WGN: = =||| What rubbish! I’m the Little Prince of Refinement. Of course I’d have manners. You’re just envious!

ZLY: No, I’m jealous.

Ah Zhi: …… Don’t flirt in public!

WGN: There’s only one thing he did that made me upset.

Ah Zhi: Zhang Lingyi, you should quickly kneel!

ZLY: Orz. Sorry, Zihui, you’re being dragged out as an exhibit again.

28. How do you really want to treat the other party?

WGN: Just be together always, in peace and stability.

ZLY: Heheheheh, of course ……… sleep with him!

WGN: (╰_╯)#

ZLY: *cough cough* Harmony, to pay attention to harmony!

29. What level has your relationship developed to?

WGN: It’s …… a very good level.

Ah Zhi: How good is very good?

ZLY: To the level of harmony. [harmony is the euphemism for sexual relations]

30. Have you ever lied to the other party?

ZLY: No, I’m sincere toward Shoushou!

WGN: Yup, once.

ZLY: O_O When?

WGN: Not telling you.

Ah Zhi: It should be that time you were soaked in the rain, when you wanted to confess but didn’t get to do so.

ZLY: Really? Did you want to confess to me then? *ecstatic*

Ah Zhi: Don’t get too happy. Think about what you were doing at that time?

ZLY: Ugh …… sorry, Zihui, you’re brought out as an exhibit again.

31. When do you feel that you’re being loved?

WGN: When he cooks a big meal for me.

ZLY: When he throws a tantrum at me.

WGN: When have I ever thrown a tantrum at you! (#‵′)凸

ZLY: See, just like that!

32. What’s the sexiest expression the other party makes?

WGN: When he’s being serious.

Ah Zhi: When has he ever been serious?

WGN: That’s why it should be cherished!

ZLY: When he’s throwing a tantrum → (#‵′)凸

WGN: ……

Ah Zhi: Zhang Lingyi, you masochist.

33. Which part of your body do you feel the other party likes the most?

WGN: Uh, the face!

ZLY: It must be the six pack.

WGN: ……

34. Which part of the other party’s body do you like the best?

WGN: The eyes!

ZLY: The face, yeah!

35. How much do you like the other party?

WGN: Just as much as I like myself.

Ah Zhi: For a narcissist to say that, it must mean really, really like!

ZLY: *hands drawing the shape of a circle* More than this.

Ah Zhi: ……

36. When you’re together, what makes your heart beat the fastest?

WGN: When running.

Ah Zhi: OK, exercise does indeed quicken the heartbeat.

ZLY: Of course, it’s when we’re kissing. -3-

37. Where is your sensitive spot?

WGN: Waist.

ZLY: If it’s when Shoushou touches me, I’m sensitive all over.

38. Is your relationship public or secret?

WGN: At the moment, it’s secret.

ZLY: Hard to say in the future.

39. Do you feel that the love between the two of you can last forever?

WGN: Ask this question again when I can live forever.

ZLY: Can’t say if it’s forever, but shouldn’t be a problem to last till the end of our lives.

40. What does the other party say that makes it impossible to refuse him?

WGN: Nothing like that at the moment. Whatever he says is easy to refuse.

ZLY: My dear, sleep with me! *drools*

WGN: When have I said this kind of thing?

ZLY: I fantasized about it.

41. What’s the other party’s sleeping posture like?

WGN: Don’t know yet.

ZLY: Will know very soon!

42. What do you most like to eat?

WGN: A lot of things.

ZLY: Of course, it’s Shoushou!

43. What does the other party most like to eat?

WGN: He’s a pig.

ZLY: Shoushou likes all the dishes I cook.

44. Before you got together with the other party, did you like someone else?

WGN, ZLY: Let’s not mention youthful indiscretions.

Ah Zhi: *cough* Drag Yu Haining out as an exhibit!

45. What’s your phone wallpaper?

ZLY: It’s Shoushou.

WGN: SpongeBob SquarePants.

ZLY: =口= I want to pay someone to assassinate SpongeBob SquarePants.

46. Which flower do you feel matches the other party?

ZLY: Money plant! [i.e., Gollum jade]

Wang Dafa: Dad, that’s me!

WGN: Green foxtail. [lit., Dogtail grass]

Ah Zhi: Didn’t you see the question? Which answer of yours was a flower?

47. The other party’s hobby is?

WGN: Cooking.

ZLY: Eating.

Ah Zhi: Yes, very compatible!

48. Your hobby is?

WGN: SpongeBob SquarePants.

ZLY: Shoushou!

Ah Zhi: ……

49. Are you satisfied with the present situation?

WGN: Not bad.

ZLY: I’m very dissatisfied with how you keep asking questions so we can’t go ‘harmonize’.

50. Have you done the perverted stuff?

WGN: ……

ZLY: Heheh.

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