Extra 3

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Husbands’ 100-Question Aptitude Test: Part III

[continued from extra 2]

51. Location where you first did perverted stuff? [i.e. “H”, the initial letter of the Japanese word for perverted stuff]

WGN: Sofa.

ZLY: Bathroom.

Ah Zhi: ……

ZLY: *cough* It was the sofa for him, but bathroom for me?

Ah Zhi: *coldly* You had your first time separately?

ZLY, WGN: ……

52. Reflection on that time?

ZLY: One word — terrific!

WGN: …… painful.

Ah Zhi: Zhang Lingyi, you should improve your technique!

ZLY: It’s not that my technique is bad, it’s that my birdy is big!

Ah Zhi: Watch your words in public!

53. How did the other person look at that time?

WGN: Deep in his feels!

ZLY: Luring me!

WGN: Hmm?

ZLY: It was me who first lured him!

54. Your first words the morning after your first night?

ZLY: You’re awake!

WGN: You’d prepared to go work in Taiwan?

Ah Zhi: ????????

55. How many times do you H each week?

WGN: Same as number of ab muscles!

Ah Zhi: Yours or Wang Guangning’s abs?

WGN: I also have a lot of ab muscles!

ZLY: *cough* Currently, it’s Guangning’s abs.

56. Under ideal conditions, how many times a week is best?

WGN: The status quo is great!

ZLY: Of course, it’s my number of ab muscles!

Ah Zhi: Yo, you can even rest a day!

ZLY: Yeah, have to conserve strength and store up energy, after all!

57. So what kind of H?

WGN: Very normal kind of H ……

ZLY: The kind of H that lingers in your mind!

58. The other person’s most sensitive area is?

WGN: Seems like he’s sensitive all over!

ZLY: Waist.

59. Describe the other person during H with one line?

WGN: A wolf in rut.

ZLY: A tormenting little devil!

WGN: Hmm?

ZLY: I’m talking about myself!

60. To be honest, do you like H?

WGN: It’s still all right.

ZLY: Can’t get enough of it! [i.e. he quotes a classic phrase from an Aaron Kwok song: “love love love without end”]

61. Usual location for H?|

WGN: Bed.

ZLY: Yup, bed.

62. Location you’ve thought of trying?

WGN: *blushes* In the car.

ZLY: Plenty — the study, the kitchen, outdoors, lift ……

Ah Zhi: The lift?

WGN: The lift?

ZLY: Only thinking of it!

h Zhi: You’ve got quite the taste!

63. Shower before or after H?

WGN: Before.

ZLY: Actually, it’s once before showering, once during showering, and once again after showering ……

Ah Zhi: What strength! Envious!

64. Any agreement between the two of you regarding H?

WGN: Not to claw at my waist.

ZLY: *cough* ……

65. Have you had sexual relations with someone other than your partner?

WGN: No.

ZLY: I’ve ‘beaten the stick’ to Sola Aoi’s movies, does that count?

Ah Zhi: …… No.

66. To the view that “If I can’t have your heart, at least I’ll have your body” — yay or nay?

WGN: Isn’t that just a one-night stand?

ZLY: A definite nay!

[67. Missing from original]

68. Do you feel embarrassed before H? Or perhaps after?

WGN: Not at all.

ZLY: This is a natural need of adult men — nothing to be embarrassed about.

69. If a good friend were to say to you, “I’m so lonely, so just for tonight, please ……” and asked for H, what would you do?

WGN: Give them a jin (half a kilo) of cucumbers.

ZLY: Introduce Li Sihong to them.

Ah Zhi: Zhang Xiao Gong, you can truly bear a grudge!

70. Do you think you’re good at H?

WGN: Still all right.

ZLY: Literally can’t be any better at it.

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