Chapter 30

Tong Yan was covering his face with thequilt, a few moments later, when it became too hot, he pulled it off again.

The lights were turned off. Zhuo Xiang Ming held Tong Yan’s cell phone inhis hand, swiping down and up, there were only a few search records, but he wasstill reading. The screen illuminated Zhuo Xiang Ming’s face, his expression wasclearly seen, but Tong Yan still couldn’t understand what it meant.

“Are you angry?” The smell of cedarwood wasn’t as mild asusual, so Tong Yan asked.

“What?” Zhuo Xiang Ming moved the hand holding the cell phone tohis lap. “No, why would I be angry?”

Tong Yan: “Then, what are youthinking?”

Zhuo Xiang Ming pondered for a moment, then said: “I was thinking… we can’t sleep together yet.”

TongYan seemed to have already guessed that he would refuse: “Okay.”

Before shutting off the encyclopedia search,Zhuo Xiang Ming swiped left on the response in Tong Yan’s bookmarks. The word“Delete” appeared, but in the end, he didn’t delete it, just tucking the phoneunder another pillow on Tong Yan’s bed.

Withthis, the last light source in the room disappeared. The only thing Tong Yan couldsee clearly, was Zhuo Xiang Ming’s silhouette and a slightly vague face.

“I…”

ZhuoXiang Ming: “What?”

TongYan: “I forgot whether I saw it in a TV show or a comic, but there seemsto be a saying, if someone asks a rhetorical question after a denial, uhh … itmost likely represents affirmation.”

In fact, Tong Yan also didn’t know why he was bringing up this weirdtrivia at this time. He spoke slowly, and his voice was also relatively low. Itwouldn’t appear obtrusive in this quiet and dim room, on the contrary, it wassomewhere between coquettish and aggrieved.

Zhuo Xiang Ming couldn’t be certain, but he felt like he was always makingTong Yan feel aggrieved, then he wanted to treat him better. He didn’t know howto be better, but he just felt that he wasn’t good enough.

“I’mnot angry.” Zhuo Xiang Ming also spoke softly. In a rare case of him beingunable to find suitable wording, his words were intermittent, and awkward, butfortunately, it sounded very sincere, “I’m just … I’m wondering, if I gaveyou too many … sexual suggestions.”

Tong Yan seemed a bit nervous, and overwhelmed with embarrassment. He gently moved the quilt a few times, his chin poking at the trim. He said softly, “Eh?”

Zhuo Xiang Ming recalled the soft and reassuring feeling he had when hepicked up his cell phone that afternoon, and heard Tong Yan waking up from hisnap and turning over in bed. He pushed a hand under the quilt and gropedaround, finding Tong Yan’s hand.

TongYan’s fingers felt very thin, but his hand still felt very soft to the touch.It wasn’t big enough to grasp a basketball one-handedly, so it was moredelicate than the average boy’s.

“I don’t want you to feel that … dating equals having sex.”

Zhuo Xiang Ming was wondering how best toexplain it, in order to prevent Tong Yan from feeling ashamed or embarrassed.He wanted to express his thoughts accurately, but it always seemed to come outdifferent, “This type of thing, if and when to do it, rationally speaking,there are no hard and fast rules. Open-mindedly speaking, if both parties arewilling, then it’s natural to fulfill that desire.”

“But you’re really too young.” He gently stroked the back of TongYan’s hand with his thumb, “It seems that I’m actually quite old-fashion. If I dothat sort of thing with you right away … Tong Tong, I’ll feel guilty.”

Afterthinking for a while, Tong Yan asked, “You still think of me as a child?”

Zhuo Xiang Ming: “Of course not.”

TongYan: “Then, why would you feel guilty? If we like each other, even if we give… sexual suggestions, is there something wrong with that?”

Themore Zhuo Xiang Ming spoke, the more he felt hypocritical and pompous:“Because, you didn’t have these kinds of thoughts before. I’m wondering ifit’s because I recently… I recently haven’t been very restrained. Maybe I conveyedthis kind of idea to you. So, I wanted to say, uhh … Tong Tong, sex is not necessaryto maintain a relationship, or advance it…”

“Whynot?” Tong Yan interrupted him, “I really want to kiss you. I also thought aboutdoing it before you kissed me… I’m eighteen, not eight.”

“Do you think, you’ll have to take responsible for me if we go tobed?” Tong Yan suddenly asked.

He hadn’t wanted to ask this out loud, but since it slipped out, Tong Yandidn’t regret it.

This was a very reasonable assumption. Zhuo Xiang Ming’s celibacy wasn’ta bluff. Tong Yan liked him, and he could also feel that he was liked by ZhuoXiang Ming, but how much ‘like’ was there? Was it enough to mark? Was it enoughto want to spend the rest of their lives together?

The two had only been together for a week. Anadult’s commitment was always precious and not easily given away. This questionwasn’t fair to anyone.

But teenagers were the creatures most insulated from rationality. Heloved fervently, so of course, he had the right to obtain answers from hispartner.

Acelibate person discussing love might feel that way, but Zhuo Xiang Ming’scharacter was beyond doubt. It also wasn’t about AO equal rights, it was just twopeople with a difference in age and social experience. Once a substantial physicalrelationship began, it would look like Tong Yan was “at a disadvantage”.

So,was he worried about this?

Zhuo Xiang Ming subconsciously said: “Of course I’ll take responsibilityfor you.”

“No,no.” Zhuo Xiang Ming corrected, “I didn’t mean that. I meant, sincewe’re in love and have started a relationship, then both of us will have responsibilitiesand obligations to each other, right?”

“Yes. Then why can’t we go to bed?” Tong Yan circled back to theoriginal point.

Zhuo Xiang Ming: “You’re too young.”

TongYan wanted to ask: So, you still think of me as a child?

But he didn’t ask this, because there was no answer to this question.For the first time, Zhuo Xiang Ming’s reasoning failed to convince him, and forthe first time, Tong Yan realized that not all questions had answers.

When he fell in love, he learned that when someonegot caught up in their emotions, they would always panic. Perhaps one second theywould be full of affection, but the next second, they would feel anxious and insecure.This feeling was unpleasant but, Tong Yan thought, this was probably the tasteof love.

TongYan: “Okay, I was just asking. It’s late, you should go to bed too.”

Zhuo Xiang Ming squeezed his palm: “Good night.”

TongYan: “Good night.”

Zhuo Xiang Ming got up and tucked Tong Yan in before leaving.

Thetemporary stay made Zhuo Xiang Ming’s pheromones linger in Tong Yan’s bedroom.He was tired, and fell asleep quickly.

Thnext day, Sunday, Zhuo Xiang Ming hadn’t made arrangements to go to work. He wokeTong Yan up around eight o’clock, and the two ate breakfast together.

The results of the mid-term exams were coming out that morning. Tong Yanwas a little nervous, and he was slightly absent-minded. His new Star Wars set couldn’tbe challenged, so he sat on the rug next to the sofa, taking on a set withrelatively low difficulty.

XuanGui stood aside, hanging around. It had been constantly telling Tong Yan thatif it pieced it together, the set would be completed in a few minutes. But thisrobot really couldn’t receive any sincere human friendship, because Tong Yan firmlyrejected it: “Don’t even think about it. Zhuo Xiang Ming bought this, I wantto finish it myself.”

XuanGui: “Does this count as a reason? I can only play with the ones you bought?”

TongYan: “Why not? Last time, didn’t I let you touch the Maserati I built?”

XuanGui was heartbroken: “I feel like you’re not in a good mood.”

“Nonsense.”Tong Yan said, “I’ve always been this ruthless.”

XuanGui ran away.

The roses in the backyard had already started blossoming. Zhuo XiangMing was very diligent, circling around and pruning. After entering the house,he changed his shoes and washed his hands. Deciding to mow the lawn in theafternoon, he looked for Tong Yan.

“Have the results come out?”

TongYan: “No, I’ve been refreshing the webpage forever.”

Zhuo Xiang Ming sat down beside him: “Don’t be nervous.”

TongYan: “I’m not nervous.”

“OK.” Zhuo Said Ming said.

Since breakfast, the atmosphere between the two had been a little stiff.No one was giving the cold-shoulder, and no one had an angry face, but it just wasn’tvery natural.

TongYan tried to find something to say, but the more he thought about it, the morehe couldn’t find anything to say.

“What are you building?” Zhuo Xiang Ming asked.

TongYan hurriedly said: “The Taj Mahal.”

Zhuo Xiang Ming leaned over, picking up thesmall box behind Tong Yan. He looked at the finished picture on the back:“Wow.”

“Pretty?” Tong Yan also leaned over to look, “I plan to buildthe four … uhh, towers I guess, first, then I’ll start the foundation. The StarWars set will have to wait for a holiday.”

Zhuo Xiang Ming had no opinion on what he planned to do in his free time:“OK.”

“The Taj Mahal is an ancient human’s tomb, did you know?” Tong Yan asked.

Zhuo Xiang Ming: “I know.”

TongYan continued, “Then, do you know whose tomb it is?”

Zhuo Xiang Ming actually knew, but in the end, he said, “I don’t know.”

“The emperor of India built it for his wife.” Unlike yesterday, whenTong Yan ignored Zhuo Xiang Ming while he built, he hands curled naturally, hispalms placed on his thighs as he patiently explained to Zhuo Xiang Ming, “Hername was Mumtaz Mahal.”

“The emperor exhausted the nation’s manpower to build themausoleum. Some people praised his love, and others criticized his muddle-headedness.”Tong Yan touched the half-completed tower, “But the building is reallybeautiful.”

Zhuo Xiang Ming nodded in agreement: “It is really beautiful.”

TongYan also wanted to dive deeper into this famous love story that had been handeddown for thousands of years, but he suddenly remembered, Mumtaz Mahal was ShahJahan’s second wife… not the first.

In the simplified story he’d heard, the emperor married his first wifebefore he found his true love. At that time, Tong Yan thought, marking and mark-removalwasn’t such a big deal nowadays, and most people were unlikely to only ever haveone partner. Then, what about Zhuo Xiang Ming and himself?

Zhuo Xiang Ming was a thoughtful adult, he naturallythought about many things. Then, was he thinking, if they could be together, it’spossible to also separate, so, he was somewhat opposed to premature intimacy?If that was the case, Tong Yan felt that he should thank him.

Tong Yan liked him, but this shouldn’t hinder Tong Yan. Maybe it was simply the beginning of his attempt to accept the start of the relationship. Because of his grief over his second wife, Shah Jahan’s hair turned white overnight. Could Zhuo Xiang Ming be willing to give his soul mark to just any omega he met?

TongYan strived to make himself less childish. He couldn’t hypothesize their breakup, then go blame Zhuo Xiang Ming. In fact, breaking up was everybody’s right.He couldn’t set Zhuo Xiang Ming as his end point prematurely … … That wasn’tfair to Zhuo Xiang Ming.

Zhuo Xiang Ming noticed that Tong Yan was suddenly absent-minded and asked:“Tong Tong?”

Tong Yan pursed his lips, then turned to lookat him: “Are you still angry?”

Then he remembered yesterday, when Zhuo Xiang Ming said that he wasn’tangry, and changed his words: “Are you giving me the cold-shoulder?”

Zhuo Xiang Ming: “Of course not!”

Tong Yan: “Then why, why are you sayingso little to me?”

Zhuo Xiang Ming smiled helplessly: “Because I really don’t understandthese things. You’ve never told me so much about Lego before.”

Tong Yan also realized that it really was himselfthat had been explaining something to Zhuo Xiang Ming. Embarrassed, he smiledand said, “I’m done talking to you.”

“No,talk.” Zhuo Xiang Ming finally reached out to hug him, he legs wrapping around TongYan, his chest against Tong Yan’s back, “Please Tong Tong, save my esthetics.”

After receiving a hug, those chaotic thoughts quickly disappeared. Tong Yanturned towards him, rubbing their faces together, a proud little expression onhis face: “Then kiss me, why aren’t you a kissing maniac today?”

“Huh?” Zhuo Xiang Ming narrowed his eyes at him dangerously,“What did you call me?”

“Kissing mani…” Before Tong Yan couldfinish the word, Zhuo Xiang Ming kissed him. The feeling of touching lips was completelydifferent from a forehead kiss. You could become desensitized to a foreheadkiss, but a mouth-to-mouth kiss would forever be jolting.

It would always have the magical power to cause blushing and throbbing heartbeats,this was something Tong Yan realized from his first kiss. Because his reasonwas very quickly taken away by Zhuo Xiang Ming’s kiss, the tower was cast aside,and he fully turned around, looping his arms around Zhuo Xiang Ming’s neck, grabbingZhuo Xiang Ming’s hair in one hand, and gripping his shirt with the other.Kneeling in Zhuo Xiang Ming’s embrace, he just wanted to completely focus onkissing.

After a prolonged kiss, Tong Yan found a sense of certainty in Zhuo XiangMing’s painfully tight hug. He thought, maybe his request was really somewhat sudden.Zhuo Xiang Ming truly liked him, but Zhuo Xiang Ming needed some more time.

He leaned on Zhuo Xiang Ming’s shoulder, stilladjusting his breathing. At this time, the web page successfully refreshed, andhis school report appeared. Zhuo Xiang Ming picked up his cell phone and thetwo looked at it together. Tong Yan skipped the individual scores and rankings,looking directly at the total score: 667.

“Six hundred and sixty-seven!” He straightened up and cuppedZhuo Xiang Ming’s face, rubbing it a few times, “My gift!”

Zhuo Xiang Ming also smiled, he looked carefully at the scores and said:“That’s first place, awesome.”

“My gift.” Tong Yan repeated.

Zhuo Xiang Ming let him knead his face good-naturedly, his mouth squeezedinto a pout. He just held Tong Yan’s waist and asked: “Okay, gift, when,do you want?”

TongYan: “Now!”

ButZhuo Xiang Ming said: “Uh…”

“What happened?” Tong Yan kneaded his face.

Zhuo Xiang Ming: “You called me a kissing maniac.”

“Eh …” Tong Yan grunted shamelessly, “That’s a pet name!”

“Okay, then let me give you a pet nametoo. I’ll call you, Shameless King.” Zhuo Xiang Ming said, “Shameless King,Kissing Maniac, why does mine still sound sexier?”

Allduring the lonely morning, Tong Yan had wanted to act spoiled with him. Hugginghim and not letting go, he shook the unresistant Zhuo Xiang Ming: “Don’t….”

Finally,Zhuo Xiang Ming couldn’t endure it, giving him his gift. But if Tong Yan had togive it a score, this gift might not pass. Because, he was brought from Zhuo XiangMing’s arms to the rug by this kiss, his tongue was sucked numb, and his mouthwas swollen to the point where he couldn’t appear in public. The gift absolutelycouldn’t satisfy his requirements of “gentle” and “slow”.

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T/N:

might feel that way- 独身主义谈谈恋爱可以, the sentence ends withthe word ‘can/be able/possible’, so I guessed that that’s what the author was implying.

but this shouldn’t hinder Tong Yan.Maybe it was ….- This sentence didn’t have punctuationoriginally, but it literally made no sense without it.

overnight- Itactually took one year for the emperor’s hair to turn white, but I think “whitehair overnight” is just a turn of phrase, not literal.

I prep the chapters for translation in bulks of 15, so I’ll be taking a few days off to prep chapters 31-45. In the meantime, fantasize about getting a man like ZXM who drops thousands of dollars on toys for you. I looked it up, that Taj Mahal Lego set is almost $400!