Chapter 38

Chai ManManexpressed doubt, Tong Yan was helpless, only able to use his character tolobby: “Have I ever lied?”

Chai ManMan:“Not until now.”

”Then youstill don’t believe me? Sometimes, he can’t even understand what he’s readingin the manual.” Tong Yan strived to prove Zhuo Xiang Ming’s ‘not so smart’-ness,“When only the roof of the Phantom City was left, I let him put it on, buthe had no idea how to install it.”

The relationshipbetween the two classmates had developed rapidly, being desk-mates helped, butthe reason for their close friendship was even more related to the fact thatthey were both Lego enthusiasts. Chai ManMan asked: “Really?”

Tong Yan: “Howwould I benefit from making stuff up? Plus, I like him so much, I have noreason to talk nonsense ah.”

”…”Chai ManMan wasn’t sure if she had just been forced fed PDA again, nevertheless,she gave up discussing this topic with Tong Yan.

In fact, Zhuo XiangMing not knowing anything about Lego wasn’t a downside. Chai ManMan worshipedhim because of his business accomplishments, it naturally had nothing to dowith Lego.

Maybe there was onetiny connection, after all, most of her desk-mate’s recently acquired limitededition Lego sets were bought by this big shot.

Chai ManMan suddenly snapped out of it:“You bought Phantom City?!”

Tong Yan nodded:“I finally bought it two weeks ago.”

The class bellrang. Before the teacher entered the classroom, Chai ManMan demanded: “Sendme a picture of it when you go home tonight.”

Before theyseparated that morning, they said that they would see each other in theafternoon, but they couldn’t meet that afternoon.

At the last moment,Zhuo Xiang Ming needed to attend a meeting, which was very urgent and veryimportant. He really couldn’t leave. After Tong Yan participated in an after-schoolactivity, at dismissal, Zhuo Xiang Ming’s secretary picked Tong Yan up at thevolunteer center.

She directly sent TongYan to Zhuo Xiang Ming’s office, Zhuo Xiang Ming was attending the meeting, so TongYan was alone.

After a while, TongYan received a message, before he could open it, the secretary knocked on the dooragain, “Mr. Zhuo asked me to ask you, do you want to eat now? The meeting mightstill last another hour. There are many restaurants nearby, most of them dodelivery, there’s a menu over there.”

Tong Yan: “No,I’ll wait for him, thank you.”

”Then call meif you need anything.” The secretary said politely, “I’m justoutside.”

”Okay.” TongYan said again, “Thank you.”

When the secretaryleft, Tong Yan looked around the office a little, then entered Zhuo Xiang Ming’slounge.

The bed was tidierthan last time. There was still an ashtray and an opened cigarette box at the bedside.The ashtray was clean. Tong Yan picked up the cigarette box and looked inside,it was almost empty. The production date was five days ago. It seemed to besmoked often, and hasn’t been here for long.

He’d never seenZhuo Xiang Ming smoke, and he also rarely smelled smoke on Zhuo Xiang Ming’sbody. Sometimes, when he gets very close, he might smell a little bit, but thenumber of times was very few, and the scent was very light, it wasautomatically understood to be the scent picked up from others in the company.

Tong Yan studiedthe cigarette box for a moment, then put it back in place.

He laid down onZhuo Xiang Ming’s bed. The dark colored sheets were infected with the scent of cedarwood.Tong Yan stuck his face in, it was a little cold, but also very comforting.

It was getting darkoutside, and the room was very quiet. Because the office was on such a highfloor, there was no sound of traffic. As if the air had solidified, everythingfroze in place, and Tong Yan felt a sense of tranquility and loneliness.

He hadn’t felt thisway in a long while. Recently, from morning till night, there was alwayssomeone beside him, there was almost no alone time. His brain didn’t haveanything to think about, seemingly focusing on a lot of things.

He reviewed his romanticrelationship with Zhuo Xiang Ming, and thought about his life before he gotmarried. It felt like the experience of two completely different people, thetwo separated by very far apart parallel railroad tracks. Somehow, theexperiences became one, the railroad tracks also overlapped after theyintersected, never separating again.

After contractingpheromone stress disorder, for a very long time, Tong Yan thought that he wouldnever get better.

He never toldanyone this, but he did think so.

It was alsopossible that he took this idea too seriously, thinking from the bottom of hisheart that he could never recover, and getting anyone’s reassurance wasuseless, so why say it.

Before his estrus,the world of pheromones was very hazy to him, covered by a layer of gauze, asif he somewhat understood, but didn’t have any personal experience.

But after that terribleestrus, all the haziness unluckily became very clear.

Whether it wasalpha or omega pheromone, to him, everything suddenly became a sharp weapon forattack, easily penetrating his defenses.

It was very awful, veryconfusing, no one could be trusted, he couldn’t protect himself, and no onecould protect him.

He was like that overworked,lame sheep in Phantom City. The ewe died from injuries sustained during birth, becauseshe wanted to protect the lame lamb. In the city, any mutant animal wasstronger than him. He had no companions, forget about friends, and a mouse couldeasily overturn him.

That kind of life wasn’tterrible at the start. Tong Yan lived in the big Tong family villa, most of thetime, he was alone. Fear, when endured for a long time, would eventually fade. Neverdaring to say, unnecessary to say, how many useless jumbled mental journeys hewent through.

But at that time, hedidn’t know that he was unhappy, he still didn’t know that he was unhappy.

His Dad and older brotherwere very busy, they had very little time to chat, and Tong Yan really wanted tochat peacefully. So, he never said, he didn’t even realize, that he wasunhappy.

He somehow gotmarried. The days of being in a trance ended in one night. He was in a strangeapartment, the house at most one-fifth the size of the Tong family villa. The deliberatelysuppressed cedarwood scented pheromones didn’t make him feel any pain, and a strangealpha gave him a hug with barely any bodily contact, saying to him, “Let’stake it slowly.”

Zhuo Xiang Ming’smeeting dragged on and on, by the time it ended, it was completely dark outside.Tong Yan was still lying on the bed in Zhuo Xiang Ming’s lounge. Zhuo XiangMing opened the door and came in, probably thinking that Tong Yan was asleep, hedidn’t turn on the light, whispering: “Tong Tong?”

Tong Yan didn’tanswer, but Zhuo Xiang Ming didn’t call out again, lightly walking over to thebedside and squatting down, only to see Tong Yan’s opened eyes.

”Hungry?”He placed his palm on Tong Yan’s face, his thumb lightly caressing the outer cornerof Tong Yan’s eye.

Tong Yan hummed,and Zhuo Xiang Ming shifted closer, pushing aside his bangs, which wereslightly blocking his eyes: “You just fell asleep?”

Tong Yan: “I didn’tsleep, I was waiting for you.”

”So obedient.”Zhuo Xiang Ming spoke very gently, “Get up to eat, OK?”

Tong Yan closed hiseyes and said: “Carry me.”

”Okay.” Zhuo Xiang Ming kissed his eyelids, then got up and wrapped an arm around him, carrying him up. The two were pillowing and pillowed. Zhuo Xiang Ming had barely hugged him in his embrace when Tong Yan wrapped his arms and legs around him.

At this moment, TongYan felt that he’d met Zhuo Xiang Ming too late in his life, then he felt aggrieved.

Part of his emotions,giving and needing, have not been able to find an outlet or a source in thepast eighteen years, simply because he hadn’t met Zhuo Xiang Ming yet.

He grew up foreighteen years, working very hard to learn the principles of maturity, but hestill couldn’t seem to understand the right way to love. He restrained himself,not letting his love become a burden to others. Living his life like the lamelamb in Phantom City, always trembling in fear, Tong Yan fumbled into the adultworld.

He was foreveradjusting his intensity of giving and asking for love, and after not receiving feedbackagain and again, he began doubting his interpretation of love. That was until heencountered Zhuo Xiang Ming on this rugged journey. He very happily acceptedhis love, and also gave love, making Tong Yan happy.

Tong Yan grew upfor eighteen years, working very hard to learn the principles of maturity,until he met Zhuo Xiang Ming one year, then he understood that there were countlessinterpretations of love. Among these, strong love is one that should neverbecome a cardinal sin.

But why did Zhuo XiangMing come so late?

”You’re reallybad.” Tong Yan said, pressed against his chest.

The room was darkand quiet, even the sound of rubbing clothing was amplified, very audible. ZhuoXiang Ming stroked Tong Yan’s back, conceding with a hum. Tong Yan again said,“Why did you lie to me? Didn’t you say it’ll take an hour?”

Zhuo Xiang Mingshowed him his phone screen: 6:12, still less than an hour.

Tong Yan reachedout and pressed off the screen, raising his head a bit, he looked at Zhuo XiangMing. He looked into those very gentle eyes and, for some reason, feltaggrieved again.

Zhuo Xiang Mingalso seemed to perceive Tong Yan’s gloomy mood. He continued to hug Tong Yantightly, so tight they could feel each other’s warm breathing. Tong Yan’s mood slowlyrelaxed. After a while, he completely didn’t feel that sense of unhappinessanymore, instead feeling a little embarrassed.

”Let’s goeat.” Tong Yan shifted a bit, preparing to get up from Zhuo Xiang Ming’s embrace.

However, Zhuo XiangMing didn’t let him go, instead, pressing him underneath.

“What’s wrong?”

Tong Yan said:“You’re really good.”

Zhuo Xiang Mingsmiled: “What is it, am I good or bad?”

”Verygood.” Tong Yan gently tugged the button on Zhuo Xiang Ming’s collar that wasn’tfastened, then rubbed it with his fingertips, “You’re very, very good.”

”Oh?”Zhuo Xiang Ming shifted until they were face to face, “That good?”

Out of the cornerof his eye, Tong Yan saw the box of cigarettes at the bedside, offhandedly asking,“Do you smoke?”

Zhuo Xiang Minglooked back, then said, “A bit.”

Tong Yan knew whyhe didn’t smoke in front of him, and his heart felt even sweeter. Hedeliberately said, “What does a cigarette taste like? I want to try ittoo.”

However, Zhuo XiangMing didn’t panic like a typical guardian, merely saying, “When you’re completelyhealed, you can try it if you still want to.”

But he addedanother sentence, apparently not so unconstrained: “Only try it, don’tsmoke.”

Tong Yan stared at ZhuoXiang Ming for a moment, feeling that he was very handsome, but also feelingthat he wasn’t just handsome, he was perfect, good everywhere. Tong Yan couldn’thelp but lower his head, printing a kiss on Zhuo Xiang Ming’s lips: “I wasthinking, why didn’t I meet you earlier? How good would it be if we had known eachother before ah.”

Tong Yan wanted to add,if he had known him long ago, he wouldn’t have been so lonely for so manyyears. But these words were too ludicrous, he couldn’t say it.

This was the secondtime Tong Yan felt that Zhuo Xiang Ming’s reasoning was flawed.

Zhuo Xiang Mingonce said that loneliness couldn’t be avoided by finding a partner, but TongYan seemed to be okay.

A little lonelinesscould make you feel serene, there was time to see yourself clearly. But too muchloneliness wasn’t good. It devoured love, devoured all positive emotions, itsmouth was gapingly huge. Immersing yourself in loneliness really wasn’t a good thing.

Ever since he gotZhuo Xiang Ming, the loneliness he hadn’t noticed before had gone away.

Zhuo Xiang Ming looked at Tong Yan for a moment. Tong Yan was thinking about what he would say, but unexpectedly, he just rubbed himself against Tong Yan, very ambiguously, then said, “Any earlier than this would be terrible, could I lay my hands on a sixteen-year-old you?”

The atmosphere wascompletely destroyed, Tong Yan again thought that Zhuo Xiang Ming was very bad.Pushing him away, he said, “Let’s eat, eat.”

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T/N:

Never daring to say, unnecessary tosay, how many useless jumbled mental journeys he went through- 从不敢说到不必要说没用多少个纠结的心路历程, unsure of translation.

The two were pillowing and pillowed-两个人挨着枕在了枕头上, unsure of translation. It has the verb ‘to pillow’ and the noun ‘pillow’, so I made a guess.

This- itsaid 早恋, Zao Lian, puppy love or falling inlove at an early age. ZXM doesn’t want jailbait.

Idk TongTong, I think finding your life-partner at 18 is pretty fortunate.

FOD vol 1 is completely re-translated, with added nsfw. Go read it.