Ch36.1 - Making an Offer (1)

Warnings:

Mentions of character death, self-harm and inappropriate methods of coping with depression.

He is clearly not the same person, but when Yang Yan kissed Xu Ze, he felt that he was kissing that person in his trance. Faced with Xu Ze’s struggle and resistance, Yang Yan held him back with one hand.

He pinched Xu Ze’s chin and then pushed Xu Ze’s lips away. At that time, even a simple kiss gave Yang Yan unprecedented satisfaction.

The pair of eyes that stared at him in astonishment, although they were not the peach blossom eyes that Yang Yan was familiar with, the anger growing in this man’s gaze made Yang Yan happier than the usual nonchalant calm.

Yang Yan knew that this was wrong. This person was not Xu Ze. He shouldn’t do this kind of thing, but he couldn’t control it, the beast in his body had broken through the iron cage and he was roaring ferociously.

Yang Yan’s strength was big, gripping Xu Ze’s wrist like iron pincers, even making Xu Ze feel like his bones were about to be crushed by this man. The terrifying flames in the depths of the man’s black pupils seemed to burn. He gave Xu Ze the illusion that if he didn’t stop them, the flames would burn him and Yang Yan.

Xu Ze couldn’t tell if Yang Yan recognized him or not. Regardless of the reason, Yang Yan walked up to him and even kissed him without saying a word. Xu Ze did not like Yang Yan and being held back like this, Xu Ze only had one feeling to choose from, and that was a strong feeling of offense.

He couldn’t break free from the man’s iron grip, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t do anything, the current body of him was not the weak and sensitive body that he was pregnant with a child.

When his lips were numb under Yang Yan’s fierce attack, Xu Ze’s pupils suddenly closed and he abruptly clenched his teeth.

Whistle!

The sudden sharp pain made Yang Yan almost gasp, and it was precisely because of this unexpected development that Yang Yan had to stop. The taste of rust spread across his mouth instantly, and even a trickle of blood trickled down the corner of Yang Yan’s mouth.

Yang Yan was stunned in surprise. He wiped the corner of his mouth. There were no lights in the corridor, just the dim light of a street lamp a few meters away, but still Yang Yan could see the scarlet on his fingertips.

Xu Ze directly bit Yang Yan’s tongue, and blood spurted out of Yang Yan’s mouth. He turned his head and spat out a mouthful of blood, then Xu Ze raised his head and met Yang Yan’s astonished eyes.

For some reason, even though he was rejected and had his tongue bitten off, Yang Yan was extremely happy.

Yang Yan’s lips curled, just as he opened his mouth to say something to Xu Ze, Xu Ze’s clenched fist had already reached him.

The fist slammed into Yang Yan’s face with a muffled sound, and the unprepared Yang Yan was hit in the side of the face. If he was bitten and hit again by anyone else, he might have gotten angry, but Yang Yan didn’t, not only did he not do it, he even apologized to Xu Ze very sincerely.

“ZJbbN!” DGwV DGw tGQH GYEIb EJkvaQwV EaI QwtQHI LGSS JY aQt hJkEa LQEa EaI EQr JY aQt EJwVkI.

snw bgj Gd ow rMMvwt gP IgOx IgO bgT rfvw rMMvfOx gP g rdOgPfk bnM ngt rMTP nfT JfOt. yfT rfWT gOt nfT PMOxdw bwCw OdJY, gOt nfT JMdPn bgT pfrrwt bfPn Pnw MPnwC JgO’T gxxCwTTfZw YCwgPn, kgdTfOx Gd ow wmPCwJw tfTkMJpMCP.

OAIw EaJkVa aI vJkSH tIwtI EaI tGHwItt aQHHIw HIIr LQEaQw DGwV DGw’t thQSQwV INIt, iIQwV YJbvIH EaQt LGN, wJ hGEEIb LaJ vGktIH QE, aI HQtVktEIH Xk WI.

IgOx IgO vOwb PngP Gd ow ngPwt nfJ, fP bMdrt Yw gYOMCJgr pMC nfJ PM Yw fO g xMMt JMMt bnwO nw bgT TdttwOrj pMCkwt Yj TMJwMOw wrTw.

“Sorry!” Yang Yan repeated his apology again.

Xu Ze didn’t want to hear this man say another word to him, so he turned around and left. After taking two steps, Yang Yan’s words behind him caused Xu Ze to stop.

“Xiao Ze’s father is Xu Ze, and it can also be said that he is Xiao Ze’s ‘mother’. My lover is a man, but he was able to get pregnant, and Xiao Ze was born from him.” Yang Yan did not move, he was anxious and hopeful. His eyes looked at Xu Ze, whose back was facing him. Xu Ze’s back was beautiful, and his back was very similar to ‘Xu Ze’.

In the past few days, Yang Yan had gone to see a psychiatrist, but the doctor’s advice had no effect on Yang Yan, or it just didn’t work.

Several more cigarette burn scars appeared on Yang Yan’s wrists. The doctor suggested to Yang Yan that since his psychological problems were caused by Xu Ze’s unexpected appearance, the doctor suggested that Yang Yan and Xu Ze have an open and honest talk. Talking could help Yang Yan improve.

Of course, Yang Yan hopes he can get back on track, not for himself, but for the baby.

His emotions have affected the baby to some extent, although the baby is small and doesn’t know much, he knows that something is wrong with his father recently.

So, Yang Yan found Xu Ze here on this day, and he would directly press Xu Ze and kiss him. In fact, Yang Yan wanted Xu Ze to hate him. As a result, his eyes were filled with anger and his expression was cold. Yang Yan seemed to have the courage to utter the words that had been suppressed in his heart for a long time.

Seeing Xu Ze slowly stop and turn around, Yang Yan showed a trace of gratitude in his expression. He was grateful to Xu Ze for being willing to listen to his story.

As for what Yang Yan said, Xu Ze, as the person involved, knew everything. He thought he should ask something so he could pretend he didn’t know anything. But in the dark night, something was accentuated in Xu Ze’s heart.

It could be seen that Yang Yan wanted to trust him. Xu Ze turned around, not saying a word, being his listener to him silently.

“Xie Chengzhou, I think you should still remember that he met you a few days ago, the person he told you about, who was also called Xu Ze, was my lover.” There were chairs in the hall and Yang Yan walked over to them. His body swayed slightly, he grabbed the armrest and sat up. The dark night hid Yang Yan’s clenched fingers and the blue veins that protruded from the back of his hand.

Yang Yan was sitting down and Xu Ze was standing on the other side. The distance between the two was only a few meters, but neither wanted to get close to the other.

“I am gay, and my lover was the same gender as me. When we were together, we did not expect that he could get pregnant.” Yang Yan slowly started the conversation, reminiscing about the past.

“We were separated for a while, and I didn’t find out until we met again that he was pregnant with my child.”

“I originally wanted to abort the child, but he was in poor health and an abortion could be dangerous for him. At that time, I asked him to give birth to the child. I had no idea that giving birth to our baby would lead to his death in the future. His life was the price.”

Yang Yan omitted to exchange 10 million for the baby.

Xu Ze knew every detail of the words Yang Yan said. The anger in his eyes dissipated and the coldness dissipated as well, becoming a kind of unshakable calm, but it was this kind of calm that contrasted even more with the restlessness in his heart.

Yang Yan lowered his head, his hands were tightly clasped, and his fingers ached, but Yang Yan still did not decide to let go. He was immersed in the story that he narrated.

“After he got pregnant, we lived together. I invited an aunt to take care of his daily life. I was very naive at the time, thinking that it would make him and the baby safe.”

“The day he gave birth turned out to be the end of the semester. In the last part of the exam, before he could complete it, he suddenly had a stomach ache and ran out of the exam room to call me. After receiving his call, I rushed, but there was still a lapse of time in between.”

“After that, I always thought that I should have made arrangements in advance. I should have simply arranged for him to be followed all the time, so that he can be sent to the hospital as soon as possible, wouldn’t he have an accident then? Won’t he leave after the baby is born?”

The more he counted, Yang Yan’s voice became more choked, tears silently spilled down his face.

The hot tears dripped onto the back of his hands and causing Yang Yan’s hands to shake uncontrollably.

Slightly parting his lips, Yang Yan slowly breathed in a few times.

He raised his head to look at Xu Ze, who was standing not far away, and smiled with only bitterness and sadness in his smile.

“More than two years after he left, you suddenly appeared. You both have the same name. There are some parts of you that are similar to him, which gave me the illusion that he had returned to me.” Yang Yan’s eyes lit up with a light fire, but the light lasted for a short time.

This story of Yang Yan is touching. The tall body of him is sitting in the corridor, and his strong and domineering posture from the past has changed to one of pitiful fragility.

Xu Ze thought that as long as his heart was moved, he would come closer to express sympathy for him.

It’s a pity, Xu Ze’s heart is very cold.

Furthermore, more than two years have passed out of the ten years he has left, and the remaining seven years are just a blink of an eye.

Xu Ze said calmly: “I’m not him, I’m not your lover.”

The light in Yang Yan’s eyes dimmed again, and he curled his lips and said: “I know.”

“So you told me these things just because you wanted to?” Xu Ze chose to interrupt his monologue entirely and asked Yang Yan from the perspective of a bystander.

Yang Yan got up from the bench, walked towards Xu Ze, met Xu Ze’s slightly wary eyes. Yang Yan stopped when he was two to three meters away.

“Because of your appearance, I sometimes have the illusion that it might be him. I know you’re not, but I can’t help it” Yang Yan raised his cuffs slightly, and the skin under the sleeves was exposed. Multiple hideous and terrifying cigarette butt scars were exposed.

Seeing that Yang Yan had been harming himself, Xu Ze was a little surprised.

“I’m not afraid of pain. On the contrary,pain can help me suppress my depression. I don’t want this situation to get worse because of Xiao Ze. For Xiao Ze, I have to get back to normal as soon as possible.”

Yang Yan still had tears in his eyes, but his emotions had become much more stable than before.

Xu Ze was not stupid, hearing Yang Yan’s words, he basically guessed that Yang Yan suddenly came to him this time because he needed his cooperation.

“What do you want me to do?” Xu Ze asked, if he could, he would help,for the same reason as Yang Yan's.

“I hope you go, don’t come back here, go anywhere, but don’t appear in front of me and Xiao Ze,” Yang Yan said his request, Xu Ze may not know how much strength he needs just for this sentence that made him feel powerless.

Before Xu Ze could reply, Yang Yan added additional information.

“I have checked. Your parents are dead. Gao Cheng and the others are also friends that you have known for not long. You have always lived alone. It is not difficult for you to change cities.”

“You name the price. I’ll give you 10 million, 20 million, or even 100 million. I’ll give you whatever you want. There’s only one condition, you leave immediately!”

Translator’s note:

I want to congratulate myself for updating, for once, correctly on saturday.Applause~

–

On another matter, this chapter made me open my eyes. This novel touches on issues that could negatively affect some people and I’m should have put its corresponding warning at the beginning of each chapter and for some reason it had not been doing so. I’ll be correcting that in the next few days and I sincerely apologize to everyone who has read so far who might have appreciated the warning. I will keep that matter in mind from now on.