Chapter 38

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Reckless Xiao-Rong

Rong Luoyun stood nailed in place, stiff and dazed. The confession took hold of him like a nightmare.

Du Zhong is Huo Linfeng……

The person he met, got to know, grew to trust, and fell in love with wasn’t Du Zhong. The person who had confessed to him wasn’t Du Zhong. Du Zhong wasn’t Du Zhong but someone else. Last night, they were still holding each other tightly, yet now Du Zhong had become someone else?!

Impossible…… utterly impossible!

Rong Luoyun shook his head. This must be a mistake. His brother and Shifu must have made a mistake. Du Zhong must be joking right now. He stepped out into the rain, letting the water wet his eyelashes as he stumbled towards that person.

“Du Zhong, don’t joke around.” His expression was pain-stricken, “Answer again, who are you really?”

Huo Linfeng’s heart was in disarray. He grasped Rong Luoyun’s shoulder: “Palace Lord, I’m sorry.” He felt regretful. Why didn’t he confess earlier? Why did he hesitate last night and this morning, leading to this situation of no retreat right now?

Rong Luoyun stubbornly asked: “Are you Du Zhong?”

Huo Linfeng’s heart throbbed with pain, but he could only deny: “I’m Huo Linfeng……”

Rong Luoyun’s eyes suddenly dimmed.

He really wasn’t Du Zhong. He was Huo Zhong. There was no Cleansing Sand Isle in the world, only Saibei’s Cleansing Sand Eatery. That so-called Shifu and that so-called brother who was his only family were all fabricated. His identity, his origin, his entire life. They were all lies.

Each and every thing.

…….were lies.

Rong Luoyun whispered: “But last night you promised.” While cooking up his schemes and lies, he promised him he wouldn’t lie to him. Did he take him to be Xiqian Ridge’s biggest fool?

Huo Linfeng said urgently: “It’s not like this, it’s not!” He lowered his voice, “I’ve wronged you in every way. Just hit me, scold me, and forgive me this time, okay?…… I will never lie to you again.”

Rong Luoyun let out a low roar: “I don’t believe you!” He struggled fiercely from his grip, “Your attentiveness, your care, your love, they were all to trick me into trusting you!”

Huo Linfeng explained: “Now, my feelings towards you are genuine! They’re genuine!”

Rong Luoyun demanded: “Now? Then what about before? You know clearly when your fake feelings turned true! And how would you know if my feelings were real when you were faking yours!”

Rong Luoyun’s words were like a sharp arrow drilling into Huo Linfeng as he struggled to find words to say. “Rong Luoyun……” He called to him. The first time he ever called out his name was actually in such a situation. He leaned towards the other person’s ear: “Do you not want me anymore?”

Rong Luoyun’s heart trembled: “The happiness Du Zhong gave me, General Huo can take it away.”

Huo Linfeng asked again: “You don’t like me anymore?”

Rong Luoyun answered coldly: “What liking? It was merely I, Rong Luoyun, being blind.”

He flicked his sleeves and turned to leave, never looking back. The rain was ever-pouring, but their love was scattering into the wind, carried away to nothingness. The hollowness of Rong Luoyun’s heart felt the chilling wind as he bitterly trekked this cold, lonely road.

They had once stood here in the sunset, talking leisurely.

They had once walked here in the night, holding an umbrella and lantern, followed by a horse.

They had once laughed here in the noon, holding the kite they had worked on together in their hands.

His memories were like flipping through a storybook full of warm and vivid images. His feelings were genuine, but they were all for naught. Rong Luoyun pushed onwards alone, feeling his mind drift farther away. He could only quickly walk past this place.

Because he cannot yearn for those times, he must not yearn.

What was done on purpose and what was genuine, he couldn’t tell. If that person truly liked him or only got close to him to get intel, he had no way of determining either.

When they held one another as they slept in the carriage, when they spent all those days together in the praying hall, when he saved his life, washed his clothes, which ones were fake, which ones were genuine? That day, when he rowed the small boat along the lotus pond, holding him, watching him with worry, did he really care, or was he just trying to sound out some secrets?

The times they held each other inseparably, lips on lips, what were they really?

Rong Luoyun had no way of knowing and didn’t dare believe it. He arrived at the Nameless Abode and went into the hall. The magpies and pigeons chirped at him, but he stood motionlessly under the eaves.

After they returned from the Spirit Jade Stream, was Huo Linfeng truly only here to send over the fish?

He walked closer step by step, but it was too late to check now. He wordlessly went into the inner hall. The bamboo lantern sat on his table, the swallow kite hung on his wall, and the little embroidered fan laid on his couch. The tank of red carp and lotus flowers decorated his yard.

On the table, there was that manual.

Breath Locking Technique…… soundlessly break in, moving about as one pleases. That time someone broke into the Extraordinary Palace, that was Huo Linfeng, wasn’t it?

Rong Luoyun let out a soft sigh. His Nameless Abode used to be so simple, but little by little, that person left his traces here. When in love, these traces were remembrances, but when in pain, these traces were torments.

He sat down on his bed, hunched over with his two hands clenched tightly. There was no more Du Zhong. What was the use of him in treating Du Zhong well? Who was that Du Zhong whom he had held dearest in his heart?

Rong Luoyun buried his face in his hands. His Du Zhong was all but a dream.

The rain poured outside. Rong Luoyun laid on his bed without changing. He was aggrieved, unwilling, and most of all heartbroken! He buried his head in his pillow, his hands about to clench his bedding to shreds. His chest heaved, never calming down even after a long time.

A string of footsteps cluttered outside. He dazedly looked at the door.

“Second Brother, Second Brother!” Diao Yuliang pittered his way in and reported by the door, “Du Zhong, ah no, Huo Linfeng left.”

Rong Luoyun nodded and turned his back to him. Diao Yuliang crouched next to the bed and said: “Second Brother, that guy is truly despicable! He was actually tricking us the entire time! We cannot let him off!”

Rong Luoyun closed his eyes: “Fourth Bro, Second Brother wants to rest for a while.”

Diao Yulaing pulled the covers over him properly and ran away like a puff of smoke. Rong Luoyun opened his eyes, staring at the bed’s canopy dejectedly. Huo Linfeng left, Du Zhong also left……

At the foot of Mount Lengsang, Huo Linfeng galloped away on his horse with Du Zheng trailing behind him. “Yu!” Huo Linfeng pulled the reins and looked back at the palace gates they had just left, wishing he could barge through to go to that courtyard.

Du Zheng asked: “Young Master, where are we going?”

Where are they going? The General’s Manor has been prepared for a long time. It was about time they went. Huo Linfeng forced himself to break away. It’s time to go. It seems like he won’t be staying for that magnolia tree to bloom.

He cracked his whip and galloped away. The Extraordinary Palace grew distant, and so did he.

In the large city, the General’s Manor finally had some movements. When officials big and small received the news, the manor swarmed with people trying to gain favor by gifting servants, maids, and carts of gifts. Who knew that the manor’s gates would remain sealed shut, not receiving any guests.

General Huo not only did not have the heart to see people, but he did not even give the manor itself a look, ignoring its various courtyards and rooms. He simply chose a wing to reside in and locked himself in. Du Zheng ground some ink as Huo Linfeng used the last tread of his soul to write a memorial.

“Arrange for someone to send this to Chang’an.” He ordered.

Du Zheng asked: “Young Master isn’t going to write a letter home?”

Huo Linfeng shook his head. What is there to write? I brought disaster upon myself, my love has left me, and the past still lingers in my heart. This son is very miserable……? He held his brush, lost in thought. When he recollected his thoughts, he only saw what he had written on the paper: Rong Luoyun.

“Dimwit.” He said blankly, “Rong Luoyun and I are not doing well anymore.”

Du Zheng comforted: “Don’t be sad, Young Master. If he doesn’t want you, there are still a lot of people who do.”

Huo Linfeng placed the brush down: “But I want him. I don’t want anyone else.” He rose and walked to the door, watching the rain pouring in the courtyard, “I deserve this. I made him sad.”

When has his spirited Young Master ever been like this? Du Zheng felt distressed and didn’t know how to comfort him. “Young Master, come eat something and sleep a little.” He went to make the bed, “Give him some more time. Maybe Rong Luoyun won’t be angry anymore tomorrow and make up with you.”

Huo Linfeng wondered. Really? Would Rong Luoyun really forgive him?

He obediently went to bed to sleep, grasping this thought like a life-saving straw, fantasizing that tomorrow, Rong Luoyun and he would make up.

Du Zheng sighed and moved a stool outside to guard, just as he would in the Marquis Manor. He was at a complete loss. Was he, in the end, hoping his young master would be together with Rong Luoyun or not?

Sigh, he’ll just see how things unfold tomorrow.

Huo Linfeng slept for a day and night. By the time he woke, it was the hour of mao* and the rain had already stopped.

* 5-7 am

He cleaned himself and put on a narrowed-sleeved martial robe. He left the manor and rode his horse to the army barracks located under Mount Lengsang. The barracks were quiet with the soldiers still sound asleep. Huo Linfeng split open the barrack gates and marched in.

With a horsewhip in hand and official boots clicking beneath his feet, he broke into the tents, whipping people awake.

In a short moment, the whole barrack of soldiers were bawling and pissing their pants in terror as they ran to the drill ground. Huo Linfeng stepped onto the commanding platform and cracked his whip loudly. On the contrary, his voice was very relaxed: “Hello.”

The soldiers hastily saluted: “—— Greetings, General Huo!”

Huo Linfeng swept his eyes over the crowd: “After coming to Xiqian Ridge, I’ve finally met all you brothers.” He strolled to the platform’s edge and narrowed his eyes, “It’s already the hour of mao, yet no one was awake for drills. I think you all ought to be flogged twenty times.”

The crowd went quiet in fear like a bunch of quails.

“Then——” He said, “Everyone will receive thirty strikes. Those who snuck out last night will receive forty, those who gambled fifty, and the commandant and the co-commandant will be held accountable and receive sixty.” He leaped down from the platform, leaving behind the stupefied crowd.

A stinky soldier who had gotten too accustomed to laziness brazenly asked: “General, why did you issue ten more strikes than as the martial law commands?”

Huo Linfeng backtracked to that person who spoke and flung out a stone with the flick of his wrist. The other party immediately howled in pain when one of his teeth was knocked out. Huo Linfeng said: “This general is simply making changes as the new official around and showing off his authority.”

In the early morning, Xiqian Ridge’s barracks were thundering with aggrieved sobs, attracting the passing pedestrians’ attention.

And several miles east, the Extraordinary Palace was quiet. There was no more Du Zhong-shixiong calling out orders during drills.

In the Nameless Abode, the tank was overflowing after the night’s rain. The budding lotuses were now blooming. Rong Luoyun woke up after his long sleep. His feelings have sunk to the bottom of his stomach, so he seemed to feel better.

He sat up and abruptly thought of the two words “Du Zhong”.

He changed and freshened up, thinking about “Du Zhong’s” appearance.

He fixed his hair and wore his hair crown. Suddenly, everything from yesterday came flooding back!

The day was clear and the rain had dried up without a trace, but the scar that person left was still here. He did not feel better, not one bit. He was still angry, unwilling, and heartbroken!

Rong Luoyun went back to his bed and glanced at his messy bedding. He leaned over and yanked it, letting the pillows roll off the bed. His gaze locked onto something. It was the little note he had left under his pillow.

“Warm and vivid”, it was now cold and quiet. “Sweet and sour” have become bitter and tart. With every word he read, he would feel his heart twist in agony. He had hidden this under his pillow like treasure, reading it day after day. Now he doesn’t even know if these words were genuine or not!

“…… I don’t want it.” He murmured. He shouted, “I DON’T WANT IT!”

The pain he had suppressed for a day and night broke free from its fetters. Rong Luoyun drew his sword and violently hacked at the kite on the wall. He charged out of the hall and slashed the lantern in half, startling the magpies in their nest.

“I don’t want any of it…… I don’t want them……” He murmured crazedly. He rushed into the courtyard and slashed at everything, splitting the water-filled tank. The red carp flailed in the damaged container as the lotus flowers fell into the mud.

Rong Luoyun took his sword and headed to the Thousand Opportunities Hall, finding his way to the bamboo courtyard.

That person had left, leaving an empty place, so what use was there in having the magnolia tree?

He chopped down the tree in a few fluid swings and turned to leave, flying towards the palace gates.

The barracks were bustling with activity. Soldiers were clearing the weeds, washing the banners, and cleaning the drill grounds. There was not a single soldier who dared to slack off. Huo Linfeng sat in his tent to take care of military affairs with account books piling as tall as a mountain on his desk.

After half an incense’s time, he heard a commotion outside the tent.

“—— General!” A soldier rushed in, “General, someone from the Extraordinary Palace came to cause trouble!”

Huo Linfeng stood abruptly: “Who?”

The soldier gasped: “Rong Luoyun, it’s Rong Luoyun!”

Huo Linfeng’s heart thumped. Rong Luoyun came. Did Rong Luoyun forgive him? He urgently left the tent and nervously made his way outside. But he stopped right at the tent’s mouth.

His neck felt something cold. A sword hung at his skin.

Two steps away, Rong Luoyun stood with his sword pointed at him, trembling as if he was freezing.

The sword’s tip pressed against his throat. Huo Linfeng retreated step by step back into his tent. “Whether you want to kill me or carve my flesh, I don’t mind as long as you quell your anger.” He spoke hoarsely, staring at the other party steadily, “Won’t you give me another chance?”

Rong Luoyun demanded: “Give me back the handkerchief.”

Huo Linfeng’s heart broke: “You promised to never take it back no matter what.”

Rong Luoyun repeated: “Give me back the handkerchief!”

Huo Linfeng refused. He stood still, welcoming whatever punishment awaited him. Rong Luoyun smiled coldly: “Do you think I can’t bear to harm you?” He bit his lip, his eyes shining with cold light, and decisively stabbed the other party’s right shoulder!

His movement held not a trace of hesitation, executed without the slightest softheartedness.

Huo Linfeng stifled his groan and asked: “Feel better?”

Rong Luoyun stared at him. Huo Linfeng asked again: “Can you forgive me?”

Rong Luoyun’s eyes turned red. Huo Linfeng asked: “Give me another chance, okay?”

There was no answer. There was only the sharp pain in his shoulder. Huo Linfeng reached out his hand: “If you want me to return the handkerchief, what would you return?”

Rong Luoyun looked at him: “I have nothing to return. Everything you gave me, I’ve destroyed.” He was like listing out his family’s valuables, but his tone was cruel, “Kite, lantern, red carp, lotus flowers. I want none of it.”

As he spoke, he fished out an item. It was the small note.

Huo Linfeng’s expression turned panicked: “Don’t!”

But Rong Luoyun gripped it tightly, shredding the letter to pieces. They drifted to the ground, scattering the words written upon them. Rong Luoyun declared: “There’s no more. I’ve returned it all.”

He ferociously yanked out his sword, leaving the wound spilling with blood.

Huo Linfeng staggered in pain and threw himself over to grab Rong Luoyun.

Rong Luoyun said: “General Huo has a body full of scars. This one is the one I, Rong Luoyun, gave.”

Huo Linfeng spoke: “My body of old scars was formed from pain, but the one you gave is full of sweetness.”

The sword clattered to the ground. Tears finally rolled down Rong Luoyun’s cheeks.

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