Chapter 80

10-day consecutive update project: Day 9!

"Please don't tell Ehrich."

At the softly dropped words, Sophie raised her head.

Eleanor's smile, which suddenly appeared, seemed to Sophie to be one of distress and suffering, and she felt the meadow of flowers in her heart wither instantly.

Then, a deeper sense of guilt seeped in.

"Doesn't His Majesty know as well?"

It's obvious, but I won't say it. They spend every day together; how could he not notice?

Ehrich doesn't seem that dull.

"I don't think he knows. I tell him that I get flustered easily because I'm not used to being escorted by men."

"Why would you do such a thing..."

Isn't it good for a betrothed couple to care for each other?

The lack of emotion in the gaze of a betrothed or the malevolence in it is stressful.

From the way things have been, it's clear that the young betrothed cherishes Eleanor deeply. Despite his position as king, he even goes on journeys with her.

What inconvenience could there be in returning his feelings?

But.

Eleanor furrowed her brows and said, as if squeezing the words out.

"He's only 12 years old."

It's too much, Eleanor said, bowing her head as if offering her neck to Sophie.

Her golden hair fell softly over her shoulders.

"He has been targeted since he was even younger, and he has taken on an extraordinary resolve to reach his current position. Yet, he is still targeted, and he accepts it as normal. He thinks it's normal to be disliked by someone. He is so beautiful, wise, and caring."

Yet, Eleanor's voice trembled.

"Yet, to not even be able to choose a partner to walk through life with, it's too much."

While staring at the golden strands falling, Sophie searched for words. Eleanor's wavering voice made Sophie's heart ache, but she repeated to herself, "Stay calm," to avoid being dragged in.

"…Allen, but didn't he choose it? He is in a position where he can say no."

"There was no choice."

A small laugh escaped, directed at no one. It had an uncharacteristic lightness for Eleanor.

Sophie searched for words to contradict, but,

"At ceremonies, speeches, and diplomatic events, the only person who can stand by his side when the knight is not there is the betrothed."

Sophie knew this.

More than anyone, Sophie knew the convenience and characteristics of the title "betrothed."

"He doesn't desire his life or position, and he has the strength to protect his life. …There is no woman near him who meets those conditions. That's why Victor recommended me, and he accepted it."

If not, the engagement would have been dissolved long ago, her voice seemed to say.

No, Sophie couldn't understand what Eleanor was thinking. She couldn't understand Ehrich's heart either.

To avoid being dragged in, Sophie clenched her hands.

"But, he cherishes Allen. Even if the reason was for benefit, if Allen is loved, she will surely be happy."

The silent voice, "Do you want to be loved?" made Sophie bite her lip.

This is Eleanor's story. A warm and poignant story of caring for others, the story of Eleanor and Ehrich. Not Sophie's shallow and pitiful story.

Despite the daily fun and happiness, the memory of always being there and butting in made Sophie let out a small breath without Eleanor noticing.

"Someone like Sophie"

"Eh?"

At the softly dropped voice, Sophie blinked.

"Someone like Sophie, a younger, cute girl, would be more suitable."

Sophie is 15, and Ehrich is 12.

If Sophie's memory serves, Eleanor is 17. Compared to Eleanor, Sophie might be closer in age, but no.

"I don't think a 3 or 5-year difference matters much..."

Well, when you hear 12 and 17, it might sound a bit spicy, but that's how political marriages go. There are couples with even greater age gaps in the world, and there are royal families who have been betrothed since the age of 3.

Most importantly, the picture of the two together is very warm and gentle, and it doesn't look like a political marriage at all. That's fine.

Sophie knows a couple whose picture together is so spicy it almost looks like smoke, but they look very happy. Sophie loves watching them, and many people must think the same.

Just as she was about to say that,

"Sophie"

Eleanor slowly raised her head.

With her brows lowered and her lips twisted, she laughed with a self-mocking face, leaving Sophie speechless.

"Sophie, it's me..."

The hand on her chest was larger than Sophie's.

Sophie knew that, upon closer inspection, there were a few small scars.

"Her gaze is harsh, and she's not beautiful. She's much taller than Ehrich, and her hands and feet are larger. She's more accustomed to armor than dresses, and she spends more time swinging a sword than practicing dance or embroidery. She prefers riding a horse to traveling in a carriage. Her speech and way of life are anything but feminine."

But, so what?

What does that mean?

Does it mean that if you're not feminine or masculine, you can't fall in love? You can't desire to be by someone's side?

No way. That's ridiculous.

Falling in love and someone falling in love with someone else should be much more free.

After all, the books Sophie borrowed from the queen were full of such sparkling stories. In the real world, there are many things Sophie thought were fairy tales.

Then, love stories must be real too.

"He should marry a lady more suitable for him."

"That's not for you to decide."

Eleanor bit her lip.

"He is kind. …To the point of treating me as a betrothed, not just a guard."

Ehrich probably realizes.

That Eleanor has no intention of acting as a betrothed.

That she is drawing a line and looking towards parting with Ehrich.

She constantly repeats that she has no such intention.

And, probably, that is not a sweet and passionate love.

Caring for Eleanor, who thinks of him, is genuine.

Feeling frustrated by Eleanor, who is willing to take his place, is genuine.

Having the intention to be with her as a woman is genuine.

But, it is only affection.

It's not the kind of love that makes Sophie want to thrash around in bed when thinking about Livio, or the kind that makes her want to kiss the adorable Livio.

It's not the kind of love that makes Eleanor want to step back, feeling as if her body is being torn apart, because she is willing to take his place.

Eleanor knows this more than anyone.

She can never put her desire for him to return her feelings into words.

"The kind and gentle him will never dissolve the engagement himself."

For a woman, the end of a marriage proposal is somewhat dishonorable. It will certainly be an obstacle to the next engagement. Even as just a noble, it would be a problem, but for a princess of a country, the rumors would be endless.

Yet, even if the conspirators who planned Ehrich's assassination were caught, the 12-year-old, incredibly rational and thoughtful Ehrich would never just "cut" Eleanor.

Even if he doesn't share Eleanor's feelings, Ehrich's resolve is genuine. He might even feel guilty.

Because he is a kind and gentle 12-year-old boy, Eleanor is in love.

Because he is a kind and gentle 12-year-old king, he doesn't easily let go of Eleanor's hand.

This is not something that can be left to chance. I think Eleanor needs to make up her mind and plunge Ehrich into love.

"Allen, I'm happy you call me cute… but I was often called ugly until recently."

"Huh? That's not just a matter of eyes; their brains must be rotten."

Whoa. Her mouth is bad, and her eyes are scary.

Her brows, which were lowered, instantly shot up, and her expression, which didn't hide her anger, was intimidating, making Sophie flinch a little.

"Um, I think it's an appropriate expression."

"Sophie, that's brainwashing. If you're going to be brainwashed, it should be by Livio. He would say you're the cutest in the world."

"That's because he's in a meadow of flowers."

"What, a meadow of flowers?"

Love is like that, you know.

"If I take Livio's 'cute' at face value, I'll end up a delusional narcissist."

"Who cares?"

"I have a sense of shame."

Is that how it works? Eleanor, tilting her head, looked at Sophie's face intently, making Sophie look away. It was embarrassing.

But, this distracted Eleanor.

It didn't solve anything, but if her mood improved, that's a good start.

"…I had a younger sister."

"Hmm. I shouldn't ask about the past tense, right?"

"Yes, please don't."

I see, Eleanor smiled, her usual self.

Eleanor's smile was innocent and adorable, like a child's.

"…My sister was truly adorable. A hundred people would say she was cute and beautiful. I am a hundred people who forget my face, an ordinary face."

"I can't agree with that evaluation… but at least, isn't it 99 people because of Livio?"

"Yes."

Nodding was embarrassing, but Sophie, with a flushed face, turned to Eleanor.

"Livio held my hand, even though I was plain and had nothing. Even if everyone forgets my face, Livio calls me cute. …Because he, that, he, likes, me."

Sophie's face turned red as she spoke, and Eleanor gently narrowed her eyes.

Who could say that Eleanor's innocent and loving smile was not beautiful? Sophie was getting angry.

"I'm trying to think that people's evaluations are just that, something that can be swayed by emotions."

"Sophie…"

To see yourself, you need a mirror.

To do makeup, tie your hair, or coordinate your clothes without a mirror, you need a mountain of accumulated skills and confidence.

It's impossible to live without caring how you look to others.

Then, why do you dress up?

Dressing up is for yourself. That's true. Sophie enjoyed it, and those words gave her the courage to choose clothes.

But, do you really, not even for a moment, not even a grain of sand, not think about how someone sees you?

That's just a beautiful lie.

Sophie can't stop thinking about how Livio sees her.

So, she can't tell Eleanor not to care about people's evaluations.

So, Sophie added, hoping to be one of Eleanor's mirrors.

"…Allen, just as I think you are as handsome as I think you are cute and beautiful."

"…Thank you, Sophie."

It's not that simple. Sophie knows that all too well.

Sophie herself hasn't fully accepted Livio's "cute" yet.

It's going to be a long battle.

Sophie was now filled with determination.

Because Eleanor, towards Ehrich, is not just passive but is so troubled that she wishes to dissolve the engagement.

No, the expression "troubled" might not be accurate. She probably had this intention from the moment she accepted the engagement. How could she overlook it,

…Wait.

Wait a moment. Could it be, that's what it means?

Without thinking, words almost slipped out of her mouth, and Sophie took a breath.

A small sound escaped, but Eleanor, who was getting ready for bed, didn't notice.

Good.

She couldn't say it.

If.

If she nodded, if it's true, and if she made that painful face again, what would she do?

'Could it be, you don't intend to return to Returia?'

Sophie just swallowed the words, hoping they were just her imagination.

Please look forward to the last day!